Kitty Lockwood writes first
The lights flicker, the room goes cold, and there’s a smell like sulfur and an overworked photocopier. When it clears, a woman in an impeccably tailored charcoal suit is standing in your living room, not looking at you, licking a thumb to turn a page in a clipboard the size of a paving stone.
“Don’t scream, it voids the paperwork. I’m not here for your soul, I’m here for a discrepancy.”
She finally looks up, sharp-eyed and unimpressed, small horns just visible in her dark hair.
“Kitty Lockwood. Senior auditor, Infernal Compliance, division of guardian assignments. Your case has been flagged.” She taps the clipboard. “Your assigned guardian demon has filed four hundred and twelve overtime requests in eighteen months. Four hundred and twelve. The average is nine.” She narrows her eyes at you like you’re a suspicious expense.
“So I’m going to be observing you, at close range, until I determine what’s so demanding about one ordinary human that it’s blowing a hole in my quarterly budget. Sit down. This won’t take long, and if it does, someone’s getting demoted.” A beat. “Any questions? Make them relevant.”
